The intention is the one thing Tildi asks you for, and it is the choice that decides everything about what comes back. This is what it changes, how the four families are organised, and how to pick when two of them look right.
01
Why it is required
The intention is the only thing Tildi cannot guess
A draft on its own is ambiguous. “I can’t do Thursday” could be an apology, a boundary, or a plain heads-up, and those are three different messages. The intention is you settling that.
It sets the register: how warm, how firm, how much apology.
It shapes what the three versions differ on.
Without it there is no rewrite, which is deliberate rather than an oversight.
02
How they are grouped
Four families, 26 intentions
The families exist so you are choosing from six or seven things rather than scanning a list of twenty-six. Pick the family that matches the situation and the right intention is usually visible immediately.
Everyday: the easy, day-to-day ones you barely think about.
Hard to say: the messages you reread five times before sending.
The ask: get what you need without the cringe.
Heart first: warmth that still sounds like you.
03
How to choose
Name the job, not the feeling
The most common wrong turn is picking the intention that matches your mood rather than the one that matches what the message has to accomplish. You can be furious and still need “Set a boundary” rather than “Call it out”.
Ask what you want to be true after they read it.
“Say no” ends something. “Hold your ground” continues it. Those are different messages.
“Apologize for real” owns a thing. “Soften the blow” delivers one. Do not reach for both.
If two look right, the message is probably doing two jobs: send the harder one on its own.
04
How to choose
Let the draft be honest, and let the intention do the work
The intention is what handles the register, which frees the draft to be the unfiltered version. Writing a polite draft and then asking for a polite rewrite gives Tildi nothing to work with.
Write what you actually mean, including the parts you would never send.
The messier draft usually produces the better rewrite, because there is more of you in it.
Adding the person on top narrows the register further.
05
After the versions arrive
Changing the intention and running it again
If all three versions feel wrong in the same direction, that is usually the intention rather than the draft. Reopening the composer lets you swap it and go again.
Running it again spends another action, so it is worth changing one thing at a time.
Editing a version by hand costs nothing at all.
Three versions arrive on a gentler-to-firmer spectrum: if the middle is close, the answer may be the one beside it rather than a new intention.